Notice: PTTBT is a satire site, and should not be taken seriously unless you enjoy involuntary electric shock therapy. The site has not been updated for some time. For more up-to-date entertainment please see our mothership at 1889.ca.
Mid-size Version: “Panda Apples” is a book about a young bear named Owen whose second cousin, Panda, comes to visit. Panda seems like a mild-mannered boy, but whenever he eats his fruity snack at the end of the day, things go… well, a little bit crazy.
The book may or may not be an allegory to the tendency of certain members of society to blame violence and/or anarchy on certain activities (say, visual entertainment of an interactive nature). Regardless, it is dedicated to a man you may have heard about, named Jack T, who is my hero. Ahem.
Long Version: Those of you who have been around this blog since before it got silly [cough hack sputter -ed.] may remember back in the summer of 2006, I talked about a book called “Panda Apples”. You may also remember that the book was not actually released “real soon now” as promised.
While I won’t get into why it wasn’t done (on the advice of my attorney, and because I’m plum out of chainsaws), I will say this: good writing takes time. And mine does too.
Thusly, I present to you a collaboration between myself and the formidable Mr Len Peralta of Jawbone Radio and Monster By Mail. Len is, I am sure you can tell by the thumbnail, quite genius with a pen, and he has vastly improved my meagre story with some of the most whimsical artwork you will ever see. [we have no idea what "whimsical" means -ed.]
Both Len and I hope you very much enjoy the book, and if you do, be sure to tell everyone you know. The book is downloadable under a Creative Commons Share-Alike Non-Commercial license, and also available in papery form from Lulu.com.
P.S. If you are interested in translating the book into your local language, drop me a line and I will send you the RTF source. I’ll try and remember to upload the actual file when I get back from my trip on a flying deathtrap.
We here at PTTBT would like to wish everyone out there a merry Viva Zynkobar, and remind you that cats are extremely flammable, so please use common sense with your family traditions this evening.
We’re back after a prolonged absence last week (our town takes asteroid impact hoaxes a little too seriously, what can I say?) we’re gearing up for a really exciting month. I’d just like to take a moment to thank last week’s guest writer, Dan Forbes, for doing such a great job keeping our readership entertained. Dan: next time hit the “post” button when you’re finished writing. Dumbass.
We’d like to announce the winner of our “Trash PTTBT” contest, except nobody said anything mean about us in the past two weeks. We will endeavour to do things to make you hate us shortly, and try it again at some point in the future.
Anyway, I’ve got to run off to the store and buy some chicken wire before they sell out… can’t have gelatin without it!
With the new WGA strike underway, killing shows like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report for the foreseeable future, one might think the world was coming to an end. Luckily, out of the depths of our misery comes a familiar face:
Let us pray he sticks around for the duration of the strike.
You may have noticed that PTTBT has a newish look, a new address, and a few new writers. This is all part of the roll-out of version 3.135b of Push the Third Button Twice! It’s been in the works for, oh, about a day and a half now, and the time and effort investment really shows!
At the request of Angela, our new VP of PR, we’re running a little promotion to go along with our upgrade celebration: Trash PTTBT for Prizes!
That’s right, you heard me. Trash PTTBT for Prizes. Write something nasty about PTTBT, our writers, our fact-checking (cough), our design or URL or whatever you like. The top 5 trashing stories (counted by referrer logs) will win an autographed doodle from one of our esteemed editors (retail value: cost of postage). The top trasher will get story-posting privileges at PTTBT and a free book from Amazon (max. value $50). You have until 11:59PM (PST) on November 7 to finish your torching.
If you find you need a little extra something to trash and have some ideas on how to fix it, drop us a line and we’ll see what we can do. We want to make trashing us as easy as possible, and by god, if we’re not crappy enough already, we’ll make an extra effort!
Short Version: New book! Download here, or you can buy a hard copy if you prefer.
