213 Posts by MCM
The noise about the upcoming Canadian DMCA made me remember the Pig and the Box, which is well over a year old now. And strangely enough, I just happen to have new translations available as of today!
The Russian version is courtesy of Nikita, Katja and Kirill, who have done a great job introducing me to a language I have no hope of understanding on my own. Many thanks to them for helping me through the Great Italics Disaster of 2007 
You can download the Russian version here.
The Swedish version has actually been finished for a long time, and I humbly apologize to Patrik for not announcing it before. I see by my email records that I first received his work over a year ago, which means I’m far too stupid to live. You can download the Swedish version here.
And finally, I have the Dutch version for you! This one comes courtesy of Marco, who also did the Dutch Crow book. He did a ton of really hard work on this, and I feel extra-super-bad that I didn’t make a proper announcement in a timely fashion (although it was available to download). You can download the Dutch version here.
I’d just like to thank everyone that’s sent in translations over the last year, and let you know how cool it is for me that my silly little book is able to travel so far thanks to all of you. This is what Creative Commons is all about, and I’m so glad I could be part of it!
Well, the holiday season is upon us, and that means it’s time to support the Child’s Play charity, run by the fantastic gents at Penny Arcade. Since last year’s nude tap dancing webcast was a bit of a bust [rimshot!], we here at PTTBT have decided to try a new approach for 2007: we’re going to pimp out our website.
Here’s how it works: click the button on the sidebar to donate (all proceeds go to the charity). When donating, enter a word or phrase, and then a URL you want it to link to. We will then integrate your word or phrase into the content of a story at PTTBT, and link it to the URL you provided. You buy your keywords based on frequency, at $5/use. We reserve the right to take several weeks to execute large orders, or words relating to math.
And the catch? You have to make your magic word something odd. Remember, we’re going to have to seamlessly blend it into whatever we’re writing, so if you write “spotted flamingos in heat”, that’s going to be much more painful for us than “George Bush”.
We realize this will break the semantic web, but think of the children, won’t you?
So if you’re game, clickez-vous on the donate button, and then watch us squirm.
Michael Geist reports the scariest part of the Speech from the Throne tonight: the probable introduction of draconian copyright laws in Canada…
As expected, the government has prioritized copyright reform, promising to “improve the protection of cultural and intellectual property rights in Canada, including copyright reform.” No words of balance, no words of access – simply more protection led by copyright legislation. This suggests – consistent with most speculation – that a DMCA-style bill could be coming to Canada within a matter of weeks.
It’s highly unlikely that any of the major parties will oppose this legislation, since it’s usually framed in terms of: “Canadian culture is under attack from American influences… the only way for our ideas to become stronger is to give our artists better copyright protections”. Nobody will vote against it because it’ll seem like a vote for Hollywood (which is true irony).
If only there was a Pirate Party in Canada, and there’d be an election before the copyright bill was introduced. And, well, we had enough votes to do something about it. Sigh.
It’s just about that time of year again, so we here at PTTBT thought it’d be good review some of the basic rules of how to avoid getting sick during flu season. If some of these weren’t obvious to you, you might want to go buy NyQuil now, cause you’re hopeless.
1. Wash Your Hands
Read this vital article about proper hand-washing, and practice it religiously. Carry anti-bacterial spray wherever you go, and right after shaking someone’s hand, spray both your palms and rub them together for at least 2 minutes in absolute silence (whispering to yourself is okay too). It’s not generally known, but 99.5% of all deadly bacteria in the world live on your hands (yes yours, don’t try and pass the blame, buddy), and the only way to keep them at bay is to clean them out like Microsoft Windows Defender kills viru… er… never mind.
2. Stop Making Out With Sick People
This is especially important if your significant other isn’t sick at the time. The easiest way to catch something nasty is to DO something nasty with someone dripping mucus from various areas of their body. Common diseases like Rhubarb Syndrome, Lasseter’s Finger Rot and Orang-utan Flu are all easily transmitted by mouth-to-orifice contact. If the person you’re about to smooch has a mini-pack of tissues in the pocket, stop drop and roll, my friend. Stop, drop and roll.
3. Wear Appropriate Clothing
If you’re going to the opera and it’s near-freezing outside, don’t wear a t-shirt and Hawaiian shorts on your way there. It’s freezing, you idiot! When your body is exposed to low temperatures without proper cover, it becomes worn and stressed and begins doing silly things like hooking up with perfect strangers it met over the internet for Pictionary parties, which typically degrade into drinking contests where everyone loses. Instead, throw on a tux for when you’re riding the bus, and switch into your more festive attire in the opera house washrooms. A little common sense goes a long way.
4. Pre-emptively Self-Medicate
Germs hate medicine like NyQuil or NeoCitran because they make you dizzy and happy (germs like misery and anguish, you may have noticed). The best way to keep germs away is to drink at least half a bottle of highly drowsy medication once a day (double-dose on Mondays, half-dose on Fridays and weekends), topped off with strong scotch or Newfoundland’s famous Screech. You’ll know you’ve got it right when the walls start dripping. Some may call this “addiction”, but those people are generally crabby because they’re not trippin’ on candy-flavoured goodness.
5. Don’t Go Outside
The majority of germs in the world exist outside, which is why it’s absolutely vital that you not leave your home. Build an airlock around your front door, and be sure that any pizza or raw produce coming into your home is sprayed heavily with antibacterial mist (don’t worry, ingesting large quantities of the spray is actually good for your digestive tract… makes it tougher and less of a pansy-ass). If you have extremely persistent friends or family who attempt to come inside your “clean room”, simply start screaming hysterically and curl into a ball and roll around on the floor until they go away. You can’t trust them, no matter how nice they seem: they’re vessels for disease, and they must be kept out.
Hopefully, with these simple tricks at your disposal, you’ll be safe this flu season. Unlike us here at PTTBT, who have spent the last 20 hours praying for death as a mystery illness devours our soul and leaves us empty shells of rot and festering mortality. Damn you, Rita the cleaning lady!
The next few days may be light, FYI.
We have just got word in from a trusted confidential source close to the negotiations (thanks Roger!) that indicates that Facebook, the little social network that could, is being acquired for the tidy sum of $4.1 billion. That Facebook would be sold is no surprise… what IS a shocker is WHO did the buying…
Radiohead!
Yes, insiders say that selling their latest album sold over 21 million units, which in itself is quite a big deal. But, whether driven by a sense of moral duty or just extravagant wealth, the average “price” paid by fans was over $500! As a result, the band is now now $10.5 billion richer, and looking for fun things to do.
“Thom [Yorke, lead singer of Radiohead] is a big Facebook user, but was getting pissed off because he kept getting all these stupid app invitations,” said another unnamed source, “So he decided to buy the company and put a stop to them. I mean, since he was filthy rich and everything.”
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg had reportedly been holding out for a pay day well over $20B, and rebuffed Radiohead’s advances as he had with Yahoo, Microsoft and Google. However, it was Yorke’s willingness to employ Blackwater to surround the Facebook compound with heavily-armed humvees that really sealed the deal.
“Mark can’t come to the phone right now, he’s hiding under his desk this afternoon,” said Zuckerberg’s secretary, Alana when we called earlier.
More as the story develops.
