Music label Sony BMG has unveiled their new “No DRM” initiative, aimed at making access to music as difficult and painful as possible.  Rather than wrapping digital files with copy protection as they have in the past, future Sony acts will have their songs released in unencumbered MP3 format from MusicPass.com.  However, to ensure their customers maintain “a consistent level of dissatisfaction with the Sony brand”, access to the MP3s will require music lovers to visit brick-and-mortar retail outlets to purchase a “Platinum Music Pass” card, which they will need to snatch out of a barrel of agitated piranhas with their bare hands.  Retail giant Best Buy was spared the man-eating fish requirement after Sony lawyers pointed out “you can only subject a person to so many unspeakable horrors before they call it a Geneva Convention violation.”

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