Critics slammed a report from Kyoto University in Japan that indicated chimpanzees had out-scored a panel of college students in a memory test, calling it “disgraceful and unfair”.

“Forty percent for the college students?  Eighty for the chimp?  That suggests to me that the game was rigged,” said Tetsuo Yoshihara of Tokyo University in Hokkaido, “I don’t think anyone in the academic community seriously believes college students could score so well.”

Indeed, a growing number of university professors from around the world are calling on Kyoto University to re-run the tests using culturally-neutral iconography that neither group would find familiar, such as sticks, dots or unopened cans of beer.  Neurology experts in Prague point out that by utilizing arabic numerals in the original experiment, researchers were “subtly stacking the deck in favour of the humans”, who would likely recognize the single digits from the scores on their exams in high school.

Still, some scholars say the issue of “how” the scores were attained is missing the key issue.

“I’ve been saying for years that if I could just get two or three chimps in my classes, it would improve the grading average exponentially,” said Dr Johan Schneier of Berlin University in Stockholm.  “Sure, some of the kids act like primates, but this study finally shows what a lot of us have known all along: humans are just not meant for higher education.  Well, maybe in Bachelor of Arts programs.  But nothing serious.”

A spokesman for Kyoto University confirmed the school was planning on re-running the test, but the exact date had yet to be determined because “the chimps don’t have time to set up the equipment right now, and humans have been banned from trying since Yoshi electrocuted himself last month.”

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