Tesla Has Last Laugh as Last Edison DC Power Grid Shut Down by in News / November 16th, 2007
Famed inventor Nikola Tesla emerged from cryogenic stasis Friday to watch the shut-down of the last Edison DC power grid in New York. Tesla and Thomas Edison famously fought over the competing standards of electrical delivery, which has now come to a close.
“What can I say? It was worth the wait,” said Tesla, wearing large mirrored sunglasses and fiddling with an iPhone as the Con Ed workers made the final adjustments to the grid. “I’m just glad my stasis container used AC instead of DC, or I probably wouldn’t have made it. Ha! Suck on that, Tommy!”
The feud between the two inventors was a source of high drama in the late 19th century, sometimes drawing a full hour of prime-time coverage every weeknight while Edison struggled to prove that Tesla’s ideas were amateur and dangerous. However, ratings dropped considerably after Tesla’s apparent death, and Edison declared victory and the superiority of the DC standard.
“Despite this setback, we still believe that DC has a place in the future of American life,” said Edison Corporation CEO Gilbert Halloway. “And if you don’t believe me, I would be glad to electrocute this elephant with one of Tesla’s supposedly-safe cables. Wanna see? It’s really gross.”
Meanwhile, Tesla is looking forward to getting back into the inventing game.
“I am just taking it all in right now, seeing what’s been done since I went under. But I’m really intrigued by this Blu-Ray disc format. I think it might just catch on, you know?”
November 20th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Welcome back Mr. Tesla !
Good News and Bad News on your return:
The Good News: six months after you faked your death, the US Supreme Court ruled that three other inventors had prior art to Marconi in the invention of the radio, and of course you made that list.
The Bad News: the $20,000 hotel bill you ducked out on in 1943, adjusted for inflation, with penalties and interest, is now in excess of Fifteen Million Dollars.
P.S. — It has recently come out that George Westinghouse lied to you concerning your contract for the hydroelectric plant at Niagara Falls.
I suggest you sue his Estate to obtain money to pay your hotel bill.
November 20th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Sigh. I’m going back to sleep. Wake me when humanity has evolved past using “money”…
November 20th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Well, Mr. Tesla, you always said “I shall never be rich until I have enough money to throw out of windows”.
If Westinghouse hadn’t cheated you, you’d be a Trillionaire by now.
Have a nice nap.