Recent reports that Apple’s new Leopard operating system grabbed a 60.7% market share in October are highly misleading, say experts familiar with social trends in Japan.

“There are only about 26 people in the country that still use actual computers these days,” said Hitoshi Yamada of the University of Tokyo in Yokohama, “You get faster broadband on a 4-year-old phone than on a laptop, so the reported numbers of 285,000 copies sold will not hold up for long.”

Indeed, sources inside the nation’s largest computer reseller, KompuKawaii, confirm that over 90% of the purchased copies of Leopard are being returned, as confused customers realize they can’t install the operating system on their cell phones after all. Many customers had been hoping to get pretty reflections and trippy screen savers for their high-definition 3-inch screens, and were frustrated to learn there was no way to squeeze the install DVD into the memory card slot on their mobiles.

“I am very sad that my phone is incompatible with the new Mac OS,” said Kenji Kochimata, 17, of Saitama. “I should have bought that second mech suit after all.”

Still, sales of OS X should still come out ahead of sales of Microsoft’s Vista operating system for October, due to the waning popularity of the game “Baka Frisu” (“Expensive Frisbee”) after unconfirmed reports that a player in Osaka caught a deadly virus after being hit by a Windows DVD.

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